Friendster Horoscope for October 22, 2008

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)[?]

The Bottom Line

Your generosity is helping build your reputation — but don’t share your resources.

In Detail

Your generosity is helping build your reputation — people know that you are willing to give them time and energy, so you can expect a lot more attention. The trouble is, some of that attention will be from some very needy people. To maintain your boundaries, just be clear about them! Let folks know that you are willing to help them out, but only so much, and for so long. And hold on to your resources more tightly — you can share them, but you should not give them away!

Friendster Horoscope for October 22, 2008

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)[?]

The Bottom Line

Be careful not to let yourself get caught up in a power struggle today. Be neutral.

In Detail

Be very careful not to let yourself get caught up in a power struggle, today. You might think you are on the right side — but how do you really know? It’s just not worth the risk if the wrong person loses out and starts looking at you in a different light. In order to preserve your reputation, you’ve got to refuse to choose sides. That might not make everyone happy, but you’ll end up in a better place by not aligning yourself one way or the other.

well well well, to whom it may concern..
lookie!! even the astrology knows what and who is right and innocent!!

yeah yeah, i know this is all just some nonsense right? well,even nonsense seem to make sense!

I wish I didn’t give a shit about so many things in my life. Indifference would make so much difference. I’m so sick of my yo-yo emotions. How one day I get nostalgic about better days and some days I say F*** it all. One minute I wish things were the way they were and the next I’m embracing the possibilities of things to come. Some days I love my classes and other days I want to blow up my lecturers in the face.

I know it sounds like a regularity for many people but seriously, I hate this shit. I feel emotionally worn out. Day in, day out I gossip and listen to gossip and eventually get gossiped about. By people I don’t really give a rat’s ass about and yet it annoys me. Why? These people are so insignificant in my life that if they disappeared into a dark hole tomorrow I would be none the wiser. But it still bugs me out of my mind. Ok we all gossip. We know it’s bad. But we gossip. We dislike people (and vice versa) for the stupidest things: the way they dress, the way they talk, the way they breathe. Sometimes I wish I didn’t know. Ignorance is bliss. I’ve already got enough people on my fuckturd list and to see it grow unnecessarily is just an added boulder on my shoulder. I don’t want to hate anyone. Or anything. It’s tiring.

But I don’t want to love neither. Because it’s pointless. However, to contradict myself, I don’t want to have meaningless relationships because it leaves me feeling hollow. I cannot afford to emotionally invest in anyone right now. I’ve been robbed once and it’s an experience I’m not in a rush to go through again, thankyouverymuch. And now, they come with promises of ‘you mean the world to me’ and all that jazz. Until you change your mind. Until you grow bored of me. Until you get tired of characteristics you once deemed ‘cute’. Until it’s time for you to leave. Until you meet that chick with bigger tits. Until you decide your career is more important. Until you decide we’re not compatible. Until you decide the timing’s all wrong. I could go on…

I’m so bugged. I’m not angry. Just bugged. And annoyed. With the whole notion of finding happiness. With people who have nothing better to do than put me down at every chance they get. With hearing stories of ‘she/he said blablabla about you’. With not having enough money to pack up and leave this God-forsaken place. With not being able to please everyone. With making mistake after mistake after mistake. With having expectations only to have them crushed.
Why do i bother?
I’m going to sleep now. I’ll feel better tomorrow.

******

I’ve lost it.My marbles? The zest for life? My sanity? Whatever way you package it, I’ve lost it. I really don’t care for much anymore these days. So if i start to space out when we’re talking or I look like I can’t wait to get out of there…Pardon me. I don’t need any sympathy or help. Because people who claim to ‘help’ or ‘hear’ me out are usually the hypocrites who can’t wait to tell the next person how screwed up I’ve become. I’ve realised that I’m surrounded by two-faced backstabbers as well. Yep, icing on my fucking cake. But you know what? I can’t deal with all the haters right now when I’m busy trying to get my life back on track. The only thing that makes sense these days is a bottle of wine and maybe a can of beer or two and maybe more (OMG YES I DRINK! ALERT THE AUTHORITIES - god, get a life already).I am surrounded by so many toxic assholes these days. People who just zap the energy out of me just by existing. I have to start eliminating these people from my life. So if I suddenly drop out of YOUR life, you know you are one of the toxic assholes I’ve been talking about, haha. As Greg Behrendt so poetically put it: “You already have one asshole. You don’t need another one in your life.”I’ve lost it. But the thing is, I’m not interested in finding it again.

My cat Jinxy got hit by a car. There was blood everywhere but not a scratch on his body. The blood was coming out of his mouth and nose. I was freaking out, almost hysterical and I didn’t care about the rain. I managed to call the vet (it was past opening hours) and begged him to open the clinic. God bless his soul, he did. I rushed there and I couldn’t watch him work on Jinxy. He said the cat was hit in the head but there didn’t seem to be any brain damage as the cat could still stand up and walk around. His left eye is bulging out and the worst case scenario right now is that he could go blind on one side. But he’ll be fine.

He’s at the vet for now, under observation and drip, cuz he can’t eat or drink. I’ve been praying for him everyday, as much as I can. Everytime I think of him, I start to cry. I’m sorry I didn’t put you in the cage earlier that night but I thought you were in the living room. I’m sorry I decided to feed you late that night, or else you’d be home safe already. I love you so much and I dunno what I would do if I lost you. I can’t sleep at night until I know you’re home with me. I promise not to leave your side till you’re up and running again. And I’m going to buy you a new ‘home’ to sleep in instead of that ratty old cage. Get well soon!